im having a threesome with these popsicles
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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