I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
