i jhust puked up my retainher.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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