p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
