i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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