He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
A bitchslap is in order.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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