The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Screwed.edu
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
