I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My dick has a subreddit
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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