Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
PANTIES FOUND
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