I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
