she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
