Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
