You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We are two peas in an std pod
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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