So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
