Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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