Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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