Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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