Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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