dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
