I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
