the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
