dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
