spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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