Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
