Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
