You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize