is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
