After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
