Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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