Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
