You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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