I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
