He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Girls should come with a carfax report
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
