Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
