I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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