I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize