Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
