HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
