i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize