Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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