very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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