i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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