love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
