im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
