He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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