Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
