Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The air was thick with penises
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
