well you can't waste a boner
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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