There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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