Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Fuck appropriateness.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
