I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
