Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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