Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
