ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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