Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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