you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
