btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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