somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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