My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize