she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
