Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
