feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
