the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize