was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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