my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize