Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
