Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
