It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
