I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
