yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
