good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
