he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
