I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
