Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
